One day not too long ago I was logged into one of the many dating sites I subscribe to. I checked the inbox on one of these sites and found that I had received an email from a…ahem…gentleman…who on first look seemed harmless. I’ll shorten the story by saying, we ended up on a phone call, where he began asking a series of innocent questions having to do with my preferences…mountain or lake, hot dog or steak…you get the idea.
Then he asks me about my day. I tell him I had visited a store called Cosmic Connections. I didn’t tell him what I bought, only that I had gone there. I explained that it was a metaphysical store. He asked if I was into that stuff. Um…do I have to answer that? He tells me he’s okay with that as long as something doesn’t come crawling out of me in the middle of our date. Okay… I laugh it off, telling him that I wasn’t into *that* kind of stuff. Then, out of the blue, he asks me if I have ever - or would ever - date interracially.
Hmmm. How to answer? My first thought was…”Oh no. He’s a bigot.” To me, whether or not I would date interracially should not be an issue to him. My issue was that he felt the need to ask the question. Obviously this is an issue for him, and that goes against my belief.
My belief about interracial relationships is that people are people, and we should all feel free to have relationships - platonic, romantic or whatever - with whomever we are comfortable having those relationships with. For me it may be different than for you. The bottom line is that I believe no one can choose what is “best” or “acceptable” for another person. Would I date interracially? My answer to that question shouldn’t matter to you or anyone else.
In the end I did not answer his question with a yes or a no, but instead I expressed my concern that he had felt the need to ask the question. He explained that…”even though he never would say anything offensive in front of me because he’s not that way…he was just trying to understand where I stood on that issue…so he could be sure not to accidentally say something offensive if we were out and saw an interracial couple.” Huh?
I repeated my statement that if this was a concern for him, he obviously did have some issues with it, and if that were the case we probably wouldn’t get along. Well…this set him off ranting about how I shouldn’t “write someone off just because they had different beliefs than I do” and by the way, “biblically it isn’t right to mix the races,” and “I respect you and your beliefs” and “so there’s no reason we shouldn’t go ahead and meet” and…blah, blah, blah. I countered with my argument that…we’re almost all mixed at this point. I’m Swedish, German and Cherokee. How can I judge?
Even though (in my opinion) this guy was an idiot, I didn’t want to hang up on him because I don’t like to do that to anyone. But I wasn’t having much success getting my point across to this guy that yes, I really did have a problem with him asking that question, which, by the way he immediately followed up with the statement “I’m not a prejudicial person…but I don’t like those Mexicans at all.”
I finally…very firmly…told him I would prefer to pass on meeting him, and wished him luck in his search. I signed off by saying “Have a good night.” Then, just as I’m pressing my finger down on the End button on my phone…I hear him shout “Nigger lover!” Gasp! I caught my breath and then immediately burst into LAUGHTER! OMG! I had to call my girlfriend right away to share that one! “I’m not a prejudicial person.” “Nigger lover!” Come on! And he wonders why he can’t get a date! He may as well have said, “I respect you” in one breath and then ”Bitch!” in the next. That’s healthy.