This is where businessmen and women, the lonely, those starting over, the adventurous, the average Joe and the girl next door meet playmates and potential life partners.

So, where does this mixed crowd go online to set Cupid in motion and how do they move through this new dating ritual?

…continued from The BBG Dating page…

Finding Suitable Targets

Making Contact

Now instead of looking across a crowded bar, singles seek love online gazing at search results from profile searches, free and paid personals and chat rooms.

Profiles present quick thumbnails of daters as they choose to describe themselves including their age, sex, occupation and hobbies. Most sites allow you to narrow the search criteria. If your mother always wanted you to marry a doctor, now you can zero in on pleasing mamma. However, remember there are no restrictions in place to keep someone from entering false data about themselves.

Chat rooms, grouped by categories of interest, age or geographic location, allow real-time typed conversation between people in the same room. Some support voice and video chats as well.

Whether for free or a fee, personal ads are posted on dating sites tailor made for numerous specific niches. If you’re a baker of tortes who’s looking for a tart, there’s probably a dating site cooked up just for you.

You may browse and answer ads or place your own personal ad. Most sites post helpful profile writing tips. Your profile should grab Prince Charming’s attention while weeding out all the princes not right for you. Be positive, authentic, realistic and truthful.

Rules of the Game

So Much Cooler Online

If you’re new to online dating, there are a few rules regarding safety.

·         Strangers

Remember how mamma cautioned you not to talk to strangers? Well, times have changed but always remember a person you have not met in person is a stranger.

·         Chat

Be cautious with whom you share your personal information. If you’re a woman, get the guy’s phone number and dial *67 before you call to block your number from being seen on his caller ID. (Some cell phones do not provide call blocking.)

·         Mysterious

Is your new love interest mysterious? Usually mysterious is code for “married” or “has something to hide.”

·         Six Pack Abs

Don’t believe everything you read. Or hear. Pictures can be 10 years old, financial status could be Forbes worthy or forged, even their location can be factitious.

·         The Pizza Guy

When it comes to your first date, he should meet you in a public place. Don’t order date home delivery. Dish the details of your date to a friend including with whom you’re meeting, when and where. Take heed of online dating safety tips.

·         The Delivery Guy Could be Delivering Love

Be open minded about who comes knocking at the door to your heart. Your match might not look like who you dreamed of but may fulfill your dreams beyond your imagination.

Take Aim and Fire Your Shot

Steps to Moving from Online to Real Time

Usually first contact takes place when an email is sent after reading a profile. For the shy or non-paying member, a smile or wink signal interest. Sometimes, an IM (instant message) serves as the first contact.

It is then up to the receiver to choose to ignore the overture or reply and begin an online exchange. When both parties feel comfortable, a phone call clarifies if the chemistry online can sustain itself offline.

Next comes your first meeting. This can be a casual get together or a more formal first date. Although you may experience a brief period of awkwardness as you re-connect in person, usually it feels more like meeting a friend.

Bulls Eye

Pluses to Meeting Online   

Some advantages to meeting the new age way are:

·         Meeting online offers anonymity

·         You reveal personal information when you feel comfortable

·         You learn who the person is before you judge their appearance

·         You are not geographically limited

·         The pool of eligible partners is almost limitless

·         Online attraction begins with common interests combined with visual interest instead of relying solely on physical attraction

This can be especially advantageous to overweight women. According to a survey noted in Myreah Moore and Jodie Gould’s book, “Date Like a Man,” 61 percent of the men surveyed responded that they would not want to date a pretty, overweight woman. On the internet, however, a man may overlook this because it’s not blatantly apparent or he may seek out such a woman if that is his preference.

Although some studies say you’re likelier to meet your spouse within five blocks of home, the Internet takes your search worldwide. This means single women can search the man-rich cities of San Jose, CA, Arlington, TX or Raleigh, NC as identified in Men’s Health magazine.

You Could Put Your Eye Out with That Arrow…

Minuses to Meeting Online

Some disadvantages to meeting someone from online are:

·         They do not look like their picture. Now, you find out the picture was dated, of their child, best friend or a model

·         The person is a serial dater or serial bed hopper

·         The chemistry fizzles in person. Sure it was hot online, sizzled on the phone but one look and it was like dumping water on a campfire

·         Geographic distance may keep the normal dating pattern and progression from happening

·         You find out it was all a bunch of lies

According to the “Date Like a Man” survey, 61.5 percent of men say they have lied about their income while 65 percent say they have lied about their occupation.

Cornell University’s new study found online daters usually lie about either their height or weight but less often misrepresent their age. Men systematically overestimated their height while slightly more women lied about their weight (64.1 percent) than did men (60.5 percent). Surprisingly about one-quarter of the men misrepresented their age compared with 13.1 percent of women.

Piercing Your Heart – You Give Love a Bad Name

Cautions for Dating Offline

Unfortunately, a darker downside to the lying exists. Stalking situations and obsessive behavior sometimes occur. Although very uncommon, some women paid with their lives. John Robinson, now sentenced to death, killed several women after luring them from online to engage in sadomasochistic sex.

Just remember to follow the rules of safety outlined by the various dating services. Be aware of your surroundings and always listen to your instincts.

Stupid Cupid – A Shot in the Dark

Decisions, decisions, decisions…

While computers revolutionized the way we meet someone to date, it hasn’t greatly altered our dating behavior. Men are still from Mars and women from Venus. The mystery surrounding chemistry and connection remains.

With almost half of the American population single and over half of our homes having at least one computer, the marriage of computers and dating is sure to continue. If love is a numbers game, then the computer is a great way to up your odds of finding love.

It can be a great experience if you follow the Golden Rule and don’t let Cupid’s arrow dent your healthy sense of humor. You’ll need it.

Look for our next article on Online Dating web sites.

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